you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
