So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
