I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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