girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
