i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize