If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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