Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
