Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
