why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Enjoy the penises
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
