barbara walters just said penis...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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