so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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