i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
