Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
