i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
