Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
