I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
