You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
