i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
wow bdsm is so cute
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