Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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