saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
