it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
