i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize