Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
