I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
