i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
