Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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