he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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