Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize