I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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