how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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