Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
