dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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