Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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