farters have to be the big spoon...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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