no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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