WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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