its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
