peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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