Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize