at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
