I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
