Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
