It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize