Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You're like the curious george of whores
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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