I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
