Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
