Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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