hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
