Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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