I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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