I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
