His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
