guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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