Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
