So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
