ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
