So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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