I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
