Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i love accidental penises.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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