I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I need to sanitize my soul.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
