YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
