in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize