You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Your topless pictures make me question reality
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
