guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
