We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
