ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
