your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
