How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize