...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
