Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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