Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
