Pappa wants mamma naked
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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