last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize