I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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