Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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